Updated: Jul 18, 2021
Does'nt matter who you are or what you did (or do), you are precious. You are worth loving and your life is worth living. Please remind yourself of these facts always. This book will help you remind.
Every single person, regardless of sex, ethical background, behaviour, status or criminal record, is precious. Everybody acts as best as they can at this moment and should not be judged. Nobody is born with an evil mind in this world (Schmidt-Salomon, M, Jenseits von Gut und Böse). Everybody is affected by their genetics and the circumstances they grew up in, and that is what forms a person.
That includes you as a reader as well.
Every day each of us experiences moments of insecurities and distrust in our environment, family or friends. This creates negative feelings, such as fear, sadness, frustration or anger. I don't think I need to explain why most of us struggle with these kinds of feelings, but for most of us they lead to wrong assumptions, judgements and actions.
Every time you feel something is wrong with you or you are frustrated by others, you can come here and remind yourself of the precious value that each individual life on this world has. That includes yourself, your partner, friends, family, neighbour, boss, politician and everyone else. But it reminds especially yourself, that you are worth living, interacting and loving yourself.
Maybe you will think, I don't have any problem with myself or even with my social environment. If that is truly the case, than you don't need to remind yourself of appreciating yourself.
For everyone else who is not aware of a depression or insecurities, this might help to detect your self-judgement. Ask yourself:
How much value do I give myself as a person? How much do I make it dependent on status, actions, behaviour and social interactions? Do I have conditions to love myself or let myself be loved? (If you want to deepen this research, I recomend the author "Stefanie Stahl" with her books, "Your inner child must find a home" or "Jeder ist beziehungsfähig").
Of course, our insecurities are also dependent on a situation. We won't think all the time (at least if we are not in a depression or other pychological illness) that we are not a person who is worth appreciating. We might, however, think that when we get rejected by a friend or a partner. Or, maybe when we got ignored at work or we start thinking about how other people might think about us. In a situation like that we need to remind ourselfs, that everyone just acts as they think it's best. That doesn't mean it is best for us, but we have the power to make our own judgement for ourself. Nobody else can tell you, who you are. Only you are capable of that.
As an example: You feel or think that you got rejected by your partner and you feel sad about that, because you want to be loved and accepted. Your partner shows that certain behaviour because of her/himself and not because of you. Her own interpretation and perception is what leads into that behaviour. Now it is on you to understand or just accept why your partner behaves like that, and to see that any problem your partner might have, is on your partner. You are not responsible for her behaviour or feelings. Each person is only responsible for their own feelings and actions.
Why does it matter? AKA how do you affect others by loving yourself
Some people might think loving yourself is pretty self-centered, egoistic or even narcistic. You need to protect and love yourself in order to love or help others. If you get affected, by being sad, angry or jealous, then you are incapable of helping others. Of course there are justifiable "negative" feelings and you should always accept your feelings and not try to get rid of them. But, being aware and accepting of feelings helps you to appreciate yourself. Trying to be someone else or working against yourself causes stress and unhappiness.
I started the "Soul Back Up" book this summer when I was travelling in California. The name came to me while reading a letter exchange with my former therapist. Re reading her answers to my letters, made me feel stronger and appreciated. And I figured that I still need this kind of appreciation. I can't expect that from anybody. Not from my family, friends or partner. I am myself the one in charge of that. There were and are so many moments in my life where I recognize and appreciate myself. So in fact I can give me the love and appreciation that I deserve.
In bad or good times I want to remind myself of the truths of this precious life.
And since I believe that everyone deserves that. I want to create place where everyone can come and be reminded of their irreplaceble value.